That Dream That Makes All The Hurt Go Away
by Valerie Forest
Summary: New Directions, The Warblers, and Vocal Adrenaline head off to the Caribbean for an international show choir festival and some fun in the sun. Tragedy strikes when the plane crashes on a deserted island and many are scared, injured, dead... St. Berry.
1. Chapter 1

AN/I don't own Glee... So this happens after A Very Glee Christmas. While a lot of the show's canon is intact for that episode and all episodes before, it is not completely, but rather my headcanon. Some explanation of Jesse's side and then well, there are actually a fair amount of changes too. It'll be explained though flashbacks. I don't know if that makes sense, but yeah. And I don't know much about plane crashes... The first part is Jesse's POV, immediately following the crash. The second part is Rachel's POV, leading up to the crash.

* * *

The sounds of the night were desperate. Screams of fire, dramatic crying, and shouts for friends and loved ones filled the air, as did smoke.

Jesse's eyes flew open. He wasn't dead. He actually felt almost perfectly fine. The seatbelt had cut into his waist and his back ached from where the suitcase had hit him when he shielded Giselle from its falling. Otherwise he was somehow okay. Looking around he confirmed that the plane was on the ground, not in the middle of the ocean he had been so sure they were flying above.

He tore the oxygen mask off his face and smoke immediately burned his eyes and throat. He turned to Giselle who was shaking and crying. He unbuckled himself and then her. "We have to get off the plane," he told her, speaking as calmly as he could manage, shaking on the inside.

He glanced around them to see some other Vocal Adrenaline members getting out quickly, but some were unconscious or hurt. Jesse quickly resolved to first help Giselle out then come right back.

As soon as he stepped off the plane with her, onto sand, a loud boom sounded from the back of the plane and he looked in time to see more flames had erupted. His heart stopped as he saw that there were flames everywhere, especially behind first class. Where Rachel was.

"Where's Andrea. Jason? Mimi?" Giselle clung to Jesse and looked around frantically for their friends.

He had no clue where Rachel was sitting and as he had told himself over and over these past many months, she was not his to be concerned with. Jesse used every ounce of his will power to shift his focus back to Giselle and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline. People were dying, dead. He had to act quickly.

He pulled Giselle further away from the plane. The darkness of the night was frustrating but the moon was full and the flames illuminated the nightmarish scene. Jesse quickly found Kyle and Lyla from Vocal Adrenaline heading up the beach to a line of trees and he moved towards them. Jesse noted that Kyle was limping and they both had burn marks scattered on their skin. They had been sitting farther back in First Class. "Stay with Kyle and Lyla," he ordered Giselle, exchanging glances with Lyla to make sure it was okay. She looked terrified but nodded. As soon as Jesse broke away from Giselle she broke into sobs. "I'll be right back," he told her soothingly, hugging her for a quick moment before running back to the plane.

He noticed some Warblers and New Directions members, plus many other people and a few flight attendants making their way from the plane or lingering at the exits. He didn't see Rachel.

"Jesse!" The voice pulled him to the exit he had left through with Giselle. Smoke was pouring out of it, but there were no visible flames in the section.

It was Jason and he was trying to lead out two people, one of each shoulder, but he couldn't take the weight. Jesse ran over to him and picked up the girl Jason had been holding up. He realized it was Mimi. She was having a coughing fit. Her one arm had a gash in it and the other side of her body was red and hot to the touch. Jesse turned back to Jason to make sure he could handle woman he was helping. Jason nodded, urging Jesse to go on. The smoke was now causing Jesse to cough as well and his eyes were stinging again. He nodded and moved again towards the trees, Jason following him. They were a handful of metres from the plane when the loudest boom yet sounded and the two boys were thrown forward, off their feet.

Jesse rolled off Mimi quickly, but then lay there for a few minutes, trying to regain his bearings. There was even more screaming now and every small sound thundered through his head. He wanted to bring his hands to his ears, but instead forced himself to sit up. The first class section was torn apart and completely in flames now.

Slowly and cautiously Jesse stood to his feet and reached down for a still coughing and now crying Mimi. "Help me," he cried in a hoarse voice as she felt heavier than before, or maybe it was that that boom kept resonating though his bones? With his help the girl stood on her feet, but her legs, her whole body actually, was shaking. Jesse pulled her arm around his neck and then remembered Jason. The boy was already up and leading the woman to the trees.

When Jesse reached the group that had formed by the trees, he helped Mimi sit against a tree. Jason immediately pulled Jesse aside. "I- I was in there. And Goolsby- and- and Andrea and Bennet and Mary..." His face was contorted with horror and guilt. "I couldn't get- get them all out."

Jesse knew what he was trying to say. They were dead. And he felt responsible. Jason had practically taken Jesse's place as male lead this year. Only Jesse and Goolsby could possibly feel more responsible and according to Jason...

Jesse fought inside himself to contain composure and calm, but he was so scared. He couldn't imagine how many people were dead. And so many seemed burnt or injured. He looked back at the plane. Groups of people had formed fairly far away from the plane, but there was still a handful of people too close to the plane, especially near the exits of sections not completely engulfed in flames.

"Jason," he said, looking the senior in the eye. "You saved Mimi and that lady. We can't stop now. There are still injured people near the plane."

Without another word the two darted back to the plane.

* * *

"We're going to have the time of our lives!" Rachel squealed, glancing through the festival packet for the tenth time.

"Hell yeah," Mercedes, sitting in the seat next to Rachel, flipped her hand up. "New Directions is going to rock the Caribbean!"

"Not if the Warblers have anything to say about it," Blaine countered from across the aisle.

Rachel whipped her head around, ready with her own retort, but noticed the playful grins that Blaine and Kurt wore.

"New Directions and the Warblers are going to rock the Caribbean," Mercedes offered and exited feelings flooded the quartet.

"Don't forget we are going to have fun and relax – not just compete." Will Shuester sat two rows ahead, but had heard the conversation.

"Exactly!" Mercedes and Kurt exclaimed in unison. They went on about their plan to add some island flair to their wardrobe. Blaine occasionally chimed in, arguing such ensembles would rarely be appropriate for any occasion in Ohio. Though Mercedes was leaning over Rachel to talk with Blaine and Kurt, Rachel managed to tune them out.

She knew what Mr. Shue was talking about. He didn't want the glee club putting all their stock in the competition. She stared down the aisle to the curtains that marked the end of coach. On the other side of that curtain was first class, and Vocal Adrenaline.

However, the idea of being beat by them again was not the main concern on her mind.

Rachel hadn't considered it. It was winter holiday, so of course Jesse was around. She just didn't expect to see him on this trip. Now she realized she should have expected it. Before he had transferred to McKinley, Rachel got a strong sense of how close everyone in Vocal Adrenaline was. While they were together, she had some idea of how much he downplayed the cost of him leaving them for her. And though she wouldn't admit it, due to her hurt and confusion of the rejection she received from Jesse after the Run Joey Run fiasco, she was silently happy for him when Vocal Adrenaline accepted his presence for their Spring Break. Of course, after subsequent events, Rachel couldn't care less about his relationship with them. It was obvious from their performance at Regionals last year that it was repaired to some extent. And now that he was one of their chaperones she could only assume he had kept in touch with at least some of them.

New Directions had been running late. They arrived at their gate just as first class was being instructed to board the plane. The members of glee club, Will Shuester, and Coach Beiste, the additional chaperone, made a loud entrance so naturally heads turned in their direction. For Rachel, time froze. Jesse St. James turned around and their eyes locked on each other immediately. A plethora of emotions washed over Rachel. In one moment she had never felt so much pain, rejection, and anger, as well as guilt, affection, and attraction. She knew it was all fleetingly expressed on her face. She was given no warning, no chance to catch her breathe, no time to compose a show face. Jesse on the other hand was wearing a perfect show face. He even had the audacity to give her a polite smile. In return, Rachel let her pain and anger take the lead and she broke their gaze.

Mercedes was next to Rachel in the next second, giving her hand a comforting squeeze. "Don't even go there, girl," she whispered, pulling Rachel to the benches. "Did you have any idea he'd be here?"

Rachel looked up to Mercedes. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes. "No," she said quietly, but then took in a big breath. "I'm fine. I was just caught off guard." She insisted, gathering composure.

Finn suddenly appeared next to her. "I can't believe that St. Jerk is here! If he gives you any problems Rachel-"

"Finn, thanks. But honestly, don't worry about it. I'm surprised, but it's not going to be a problem. We won't see Vocal Adrenaline much anyway except at the competition." What Rachel really wanted to say was that it wasn't Finn's job any more to worry about her, but she didn't want to hurt him. He was simply being nice.

"We will all be at the same resort," he argued.

The call for coach to board the plane came over the loudspeakers. Rachel just shrugged and stood up. She headed for the line, rolling her carry-on behind her.

The plane suddenly shook violently, pulling Rachel from the recent memory. "What was that?" Mercedes asked, her grip tight on her seat. Murmurs arose across the whole plane, but the plane didn't shake again.

"Probably just some turbulence," Blaine explained. He had been on planes enough times before to not get worked up over a rocky ride.

"Then why doesn't the pilot say something?" Rachel wondered aloud just as the seatbelt sign came on.

A flight attendant flew past them towards first class. "Blaine, what if that wasn't turbulence?" Kurt whispered, fear growing inside and around him.

As if to give Kurt an answer, the plane shook violently again, but for an extended period of time. A few loud booms sounded and then the oxygen masks dropped from the ceiling.

Everyone hurried to put them on.

"Folks, please remain calm. There is some minor damage to the plane and turbulence, but I will be –"

The pilot was cut off as the plane shook again and started to descend.

Mercedes looked out her window, terrified. It was clear the plane was going down.

Chaos broke out among passengers.

The pilot came on again saying something about a crash landing.

The plane started shaking a fourth time and didn't stop.

Silent tears streaked down Rachel's face as she grabbed Mercedes' hand. "We can't die yet," she murmured. Her heart was racing, the chaos around her feeding her panic. "We haven't won Nationals yet, not even Regionals. I haven't met Barbra Streisand. I haven't won a Tony." What Rachel said was only coherent to herself, as she was nervously mumbling.

A powerful jolt rocked the plane and the luggage compartments opened, spilling suitcases on the passengers and a heavy briefcase fell hard on Rachel's head. Everything slowly went dark. She felt a hot liquid trailing down her face and soon she tasted blood. She heard Mercedes scream her name, but she sounded strangely far away. Before the dark fully claimed her, her last thought was of the boy whose smile she had refused to return.


	2. Chapter 2

AN/The reviews are very encouraging. Thank you so much! And the nature of this piece of fanfiction... some beloved characters die. While this chapter doesn't confirm much, you will find out the fates of many sooner than later.

* * *

Rachel suddenly became aware of a loud, incessant ringing. The world was shaking, or maybe it was her that was shaking? She couldn't be sure, but the movement made her head hurt. She thought to open her eyes and figure out what the ringing was, but her whole body felt incredibly tired. Her eyelids wanted to stay shut. "Rachel, Rachel. Yes, there you go. Wake up!" The quiet voice reached her through the ringing, as did many other seemingly far-away noises that confused Rachel, but the shaking ceased.

"No, I'm ti–" She wanted to say that she was tired and she wanted to go to sleep, but her throat was dry and she ended up coughing instead. As her head jilted with each cough, the ringing got louder.

"No Rachel. You have a concussion. You have to st-" A loud boom cut the voice off and thundered through Rachel's head.

"Oh my God," the voice cried, not so far away any more. "Kurt, you… you have to kee- keep her awake. Can you do that?" The voice was suddenly choked up and Rachel realized it was Coach Beiste. She was slowly becoming more and more aware of her surroundings. The ringing continued, but it was not so blaring. Shouts, screams, and cries reached her ears. She could smell and taste blood and smoke.

Confused, Rachel finally forced opened her eyes. She wanted to know what was going on. She found a crying Kurt sitting next to her, but no Coach. "What happened?" She asked and tried to sit up, but the task was impossible. The attempt brought a strong wave of dizziness over her. The idea of sleep re-entered her head and she closed her eyes.

"Rachel! No! She said you have to stay awake! Please." His plea was hysterical enough for Rachel to open her eyes again. She felt the urge to cry with Kurt, but she wasn't entirely sure why.

She shifted carefully, wanting to survey more of the scene around her. Blaine was standing next to Kurt, completely quiet. He was staring at something, but Rachel couldn't tell what from her view. His stare and his silence frightened her. "What happened?" She repeated, her eyes meeting Kurt.

Kurt tilted his head at Rachel's question. "The plane, it crashed. After you were hit in the head, the pilot tried to land the plane, but it… I don't know what happened. A lot of the plane is on fire and parts of it keep exploding and…" His voice drifted off as his tears became sobs.

"Plane," Rachel whispered, her short turn memory swimming back to her. They were flying to the Caribbean. The plane started shaking. Then people started screaming. She had grabbed Mercedes hand and then – Mercedes!

"Mercedes, Kurt. Where is she?" Rachel's head still hurt severely, but all of her confusion was being replaced with gut-wrenching fright. "Where's Finn and Noah and…" Another name came to the front of her mind and the worst fear she had ever known gripped tightly around her heart. She kept the name to herself, but reduced to sobs with Kurt. "Wh-where's everybody? Why di- why did Coach Beiste leave us?"

"A part… of the plane… it burst into f-flames," he said between sobs. "Where Mr. Shue and Mercedes… I thought they… they were right be-behind us. Th-then they weren't."

Rachel didn't know how to handle everything Kurt was telling her. Mercedes couldn't be dead. She shifted onto her side and curled herself into a ball, sobbing uncontrollably. Maybe this was only a bad dream? A really, really bad dream. She could almost believe so, but she was extremely tired. It didn't make sense to be tired in a dream.

"Rachel! Stop closing your eyes! Please!"

The sobbing teenagers and Kurt's desperate shouts attracted the attention of two nearby adults. A lady, perhaps 40 years old knelt down next to Rachel. "Does something hurt sweetie? Are you not able to walk?"

Rachel looked up at the woman and tried to talk, but ended up sobbing harder. She could hear the man with her questioning Kurt. He told them that Rachel had been hit on the head and knocked unconscious for a few minutes.

"I'm Helen. What's your name?" Rachel thought the lady spoke remarkably calm considering the situation. She managed her name through her sobs..

"Okay. Rachel, I need you to sit up for me. I'll help you. We can't have you falling asleep which is far easier to do when you are laying down in the fetal position." Rachel merely nodded and let Helen help her sit up. Her head felt so heavy and the dizziness returned, but Helen supported her for a few moments until Rachel could sit on her own. When some of the dizziness subsided, Rachel was finally able to survey the scene from an upright position.

The nose of the plane was partway into the forest far off to Rachel's right. The rest of the plane was on the beach. Half of the plane was in flames at various sections. There were small groups of people scattered about the beach. Even with the flames, it was hard to tell who anyone was due to the night sky.

Rachel's sobs lessened in intensity as she ran through a list of people in her head. Kurt and Blaine were right here with her; Mercedes and Mr. Shue were missing; Coach Beiste couldn't be too far away; the rest of the New Directions members were in the middle or on the far side of the plane, so they could have gotten off on the other side. Then there were the Warblers. Rachel didn't know any of them personally, aside from Kurt and Blaine. She was surprised that none were with Blaine and Kurt at the moment; some had been sitting in the row behind her.

The loudest boom yet went off as the rest of the first class section went up in flames. The boom pounded through Rachel's head, and a sickening feeling washed over her. That was where Jesse was sitting. He had had plenty of time though by now to get out though, Rachel told herself. She wasn't confident though. The number of people of the beach appeared so few in comparison to those who had been on the plane. She told herself again how passengers must have escaped on the other side.

Helen and the man Rachel had heard her call Ralph had Blaine sitting and Kurt semi-settled. "We'll be back to check on you. Please stay put for now. We will ask around for other members of your choirs." They had gotten a handful of details about the multiple choirs travelling together from Kurt.

Rachel wanted to ask them not to leave like Coach Beiste had, but she didn't really want them. Her hand reached out for Kurt's and he took it. She wanted her fathers. She wanted Mercedes. She wanted to know Finn, Noah, and everyone else was okay. And who she wanted most, she tried to be mad with herself for wanting him at all, but like the many past months, she could not shake the longing, the ache she felt for him. If they ever spoke again, Rachel Berry had very much intended to give him a piece of her mind. Now she needed nothing more in the world than to know he was alive and well. She would never be able to live with herself if the last look she gave him was one of anger.

* * *

For Jesse, just knowing that he would most definitely see her had a strong, unwanted effect on him.

At first, from the moment he left a humiliated and hurt Rachel Berry in the parking lot months ago, guilt took over his many other emotions, and he let it. He chose Nationals, Vocal Adrenaline, and UCLA over Rachel and he had to live with cost. For the rest of the school year he planned out elaborate apologies and plans to win Rachel back, the first one shortly after Regionals. Half of the plans he didn't follow through with because he had convinced himself he didn't deserve her after everything he did to her. The other half he threw away under the pressure of Giselle, Nationals, or senior finals. Then, not too far into the summer he found out she was dating Finn. For three days he let depression consume him until Giselle dragged him out of it. She first reminded him of their brilliant victory at Nationals and his promising future at UCLA. That wasn't enough, but she knew what would be.

"You're an idiot." Giselle had told him so many times before, but maybe now he would listen, now with Berry apparently moving on.

"Thanks G. You really know how to cheer a guy up," Jesse hissed before taking another swig from the bottle that was recently his best friend.

Giselle grabbed the bottle out of his hand and forced him to look at her. If this conversation went the way she intended it to, she wanted him to remember it. "She is a child, Jesse."

"Don't you tell me what she is," he snapped angrily.

"Listen to me," she snapped back in a raised tone, her gaze demanding. "Since Nationals you seem to have conveniently forgotten how she treated you. She triple-cast you in a music video! You, Jesse St. James! You, her boyfriend at the time! You, the guy who ditched his family and his school to be with her!" The last sentence was full of bitterness and jealousy.

For a moment Jesse only stared at Giselle, still amazed she had ever pulled so much of the story out of him. Jesse's alibi had been that he was spying for Shelby. Most of Vocal Adrenaline didn't come close to believing he would transfer to spy, but Shelby backed him up so they weren't in a position to give him a hard time about it. Giselle started to put the pieces together when Jesse rejected her advances during Vocal Adrenaline's spring break vacation. After the egging and his mood swings during Regionals, Giselle's suspicions were confirmed. She didn't confront him about it until after Nationals, but he then gave up more than half of the details of what really happened. As close as he was to Giselle, never before had he opened up to her. Jesse was an island and a proud one at that. No one else, except Shelby who knew to a short extent of his affection for her daughter, had any idea the effect Rachel had on Jesse. They demanded the egging of New Direction's lead as proof of his loyalty, only Giselle had ulterior motives during the drama. He kept up his act almost flawlessly in front of everyone until he escaped to UCLA, but couldn't deny the relief that came from sharing his story with Giselle.

Jesse played Giselle's words over in his mind a few times. With the Run Joey Run incident Rachel had disrespected his love and devotion. She had shaken his confidence, something that Jesse refused to let people do to him, yet he was vulnerable to her and could not help it. The pain he felt was like no other of his past. He was used to his parents disappointing him, to his parents being disappointed in him, but that was a dull pain he had long learned to live with. Then when it came to girls he rarely dealt with any kind of rejection, so to be made to feel as though he was not enough for the one girl he actually loved was heart-wrenching.

He didn't miss the tone of Giselle's last sentence and a ping of guilt rang through him. By family she meant Vocal Adrenaline and especially herself. Jesse and Giselle had an interesting and dynamic relationship to say the least, but at the end of the day she was the closest thing he ever had to a sibling.

"I love her," was all he could manage.

Giselle visibly bristled and called him an idiot again, handing him back his bottle and wondering why she bothered. But by the next day and for the rest of the summer Jesse was only half of a mess and rather than giving his guilt so much room, he nursed his pain and let his anger grow. Once at UCLA, Jesse loosened up a bit, but did not let go of his anger. He did however miss her more and more and eventually fell back into planning apologies or at least "accidental" run-ins with the young diva. Once during the first semester Jesse visited Ohio for a friend's wedding, but easily avoided any chance of running into Rachel. All the plans he had did not matter; she was still dating Finn as far as he knew and she had never tried to contact Jesse. Why should he bother if she was so fine without him?

When Goolsby contacted Jesse in regards to the show choir festival, under Giselle's suggestion of course, he immediately agreed to chaperone the trip that was conveniently during his winter break. After a few other calls he found out New Directions would also be attending the festival he knew it was inevitable that he would have to finally speak with Rachel. At this point he told himself to expect nothing from her, but he decided to make things right on his half and then maybe he would receive some real closure.

Still, the idea of actually seeing her made him crave so much more and nothing close to closure. This desire in him he almost hated at this point.

New Directions arrived at the gate, loudly and late. Show face, he told himself before turning around and immediately locking gazes with Rachel. First shock lined her face but it was quickly and fleetingly replaced by that look – the one she would, seemingly so long ago, greet him with whenever they had been apart for even just hours, the one that told him how much she missed him, how much she cared. Still, she was caught off guard and he expected the sad, angry expression her features settled on. He maintained his show face and granted her a small grin before she looked away. He was glad that she did, because then he didn't have to hide the aggravation he felt in reaction to her annoying, yet expected and understandable anger. What annoyed him most was that he was almost certain Rachel would not grant him the same understanding for his own anger.

Giselle knew better than to try and get Jesse to talk about it on the plane, but he imagined she was constantly rolling her eyes at him. He thought again of the conversation he planned to have with Rachel and adjusted it to fit the current frustration that beset him. He eventually managed to find temporary peace in slumber until a frightened Giselle and a failing plane woke him up.


End file.
